Friday, 22 February 2013

Loyalty, and other things

Apparently I'm funny. I don't know why, but I've been told that my ramblings here are amusing, so I guess I'll have to keep them up.

As some of you may know, there's a new bad influence in my life - though I'm not entirely sure who's corrupting who at this point ;)

Anyway, along with Elfie comes LP and Nocky and I've come to the realisation that I am very loyal, very quickly. Seriously, I have swords - don't mess with those guys. I guess I've always been that way: part friend, part body guard, I'm protective and I don't always choose my battles wisely....

Yea... you know how I sometimes compare myself to a wolf or dog.... this is why.

that and the fact that I know how to be a bitch.

Anyway, loyalty is massively important to me, it's a quality that I admire in myself as well as others. I've said it before, but I'm blessed with extremely loyal friends who still stand behind me after barely seeing me for the best part of 10months (because I'm also an idiot)

I don't know if there any other quality that I find as endearing ... of it there's anything I understand less than disloyalty.

There's a poem I wrote last year about a disloyal friend, and it was her disloyalty that made her toxic to me. She is pretty much the only person I've ever successfully held a grudge with, and the actual final straw was amazingly pathetic - but it is what brought me to the realisation that being loyal to someone who is not loyal to you will destroy a person.

thinking about it, I might start posting poetry here more often

Toxic Friendship

If you believe a lie, it is still a lie.
If you lie to yourself how can anyone trust you?
These stories you make up
you steal from under my nose – and lie to my face.
Your forked tongue always twists the story,
to turn my friends against me
the anger you've coaxed to life –
the burning rage that only you ignite –
will simmer for years to come my 'friend'
and this rage isn't about the money
it's not about the indignation
it's not about the embellishments
it's about the flat out lies.
I forgive my friends almost anything
but don't take me for a fool
because push me far enough and I will see
when a friendship is toxic to me.
You were a poison the day I met you
and in all the years hence
the periods of happy remission
kept me from seeing sense.
But now my toxic friend, you've stumbled too far
one thing I always was, was smarter than you
one thing I hold with pride is my mind.
Don't insult my intelligence.
Don't think I don't know you lied.

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